just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
the condom got lost in my hair
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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