He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize