I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
