My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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