seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
