when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i came on her dog
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
