I want to make a zoo with you.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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