The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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