just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
