Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
