This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Randomize