Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Randomize
