once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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