The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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