in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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