Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
