"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
