clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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