Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
