Sry I called you an 8
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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