I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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