i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Come see our sink grown plant.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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