If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
