Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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