I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
