Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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