like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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