I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
