Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
