The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
