I wish I only lived at night.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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