hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I won the penis lottery.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
