You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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