i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he was CRYING into my vagina
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
