im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
