Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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