umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
