This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
