My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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