Me too!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think I sprained my soul last night
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
