Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
