is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
