whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
