I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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