At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
