i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
