I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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