your room smells of hookers.
And success
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
