I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
