Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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