We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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