All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
