does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
