i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
