You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
