guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
