i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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