he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
