Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
God I need to hump something, right now.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
