I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Randomize
