No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
