the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
