Who did Billy Mays play for?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
