Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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