Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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