you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
