Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
